I love living in the Middle East but one aspect that drives me nuts is the prevalent culture of the Macho Male.The Macho Male, you must understand, is a self-proclaimed superior being. He is unshakable in his belief that he is the strongest as well as the most intelligent and above all is he never, ever wrong.
In his eyes women automatically fall at his feet regardless of whether he's a testosterone-fuelled teenager or a saggy old bloke who's so far past his sell-by date that he should be consigned to landfill.
The Macho Male at all times must remain aloof from mundane day to day domestic trivia as he loses Macho Points if seen to show the slightest interest in such unworthy dross.
Not for him the simple tasks of putting his used plate in the dishwasher or throwing his dirty socks in the laundry basket.
He must believe in good fairies or some such invisible powers as how else does a house run so smoothly as he's convinced that his womenfolk spend their lives doing frivolous, girly things.
For example how does carelessly discarded dirty laundry find it's way clean and folded back to the cupboard?
Who else can have created a buffet of lip-smackingly delicious dishes for a gathering of friends at home? And so on.
If he ever bothered to think about it, it would be a mystery to him.
It's not that Macho Male is deliberately being unkind - merely that he's never been taught to be thoughtful.
Coming from the kind of Western family where all the men helped around the house, I knew it didn't have to be that way and wondered at first if it was a genetic thing.
But it turns out that mostly it's the women who have brought it all on themselves.
I've come across countless mothers from all walks of life who dote on their sons and wait on them hand and foot whilst their daughters are expected to make themselves useful and even join their mothers in pampering their fathers and brothers to the extreme.
In turn the boys expect the superior treatment to continue when they get married and so it goes on ad infinitum.
Oddly enough the women are forever complaining amongst themselves at the general attitude of men, how lazy and helpless they are, without realising that the solution is in their own hands.
So ladies...yes, your son may well be a wondrous child but please don't turn him into a spoiled Macho Male.
Teach him to make his own bed, produce a simple meal and do the dishes once in a while and you will have the unwavering gratitude of generations of future wives.
And the Macho Male culture will be unceremoniously consigned to the past where it deserves to be.
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4 comments:
You may know the middleast men ,but you cant change them ,boys go after dads !
I believe the main reason for this excessive male pampering by women is that the Middle Eastern inheritance laws forever leave women under men's thumb. I think if women had equal inheritance to men, you would not find the sisters doting on their male relatives the same way. But because the laws are mandated by Islam (a male gets double what a female gets) it will probably remain forever this way in the Middle East. Women are trying to stay in the "good graces" of their male relatives because one day that "younger male" will have the power of life and death over the women.
I discussed my idea with some women in Morocco, and they agreed that if inheritance were equal, the culture would change. But these laws will not change, because of Islam.
Expat 21
Expat Abroad
expat21.wordpress.com
To a much lesser extent the macho male exists in Italy too. Mothers are entirely to blame, the expression 'Mammone' says it all.
Ros xx
Yes I'm sure that the inheritance laws have a lot to do with this too.
Many years ago in the West, men too were primarily the inheritors due to the fact that when a woman married, her property automatically became her husband's. Therefore wealth would be transferred outside of the family.
I was also given another reason. When a woman has a female child there is no mystery attached. Being physically the same, the mother knows how her daughter will develop and feel because she too is female.
When a woman gives birth to a boy however, she feels wonder that her body has produced this child and she's automatically entranced by his maleness. This will make her unconsciously give him preferential treatment.
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